Today I shall mostly be eating One Direction discounted chocolate Easter eggs. It's getting tough - the only ones left now are the 1D eggs that come with jelly beans, and the Meaningful eggs with the wooden crosses. #ilikeboybandchocolate #wouldveprefferedgirlbandchocolate

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Today's discount egg has truffles in it! #easterismyfavouritechristianthing #tescomakeseasterlastforages #ithinkhashtagsarefunnyandnotatallredundantoroutdated #hashtag

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Today's discount Easter egg comes with a free wooden cross!! Super awesome sweet! Safe from vampires AND the chocolate is fairtrade. #HAPPYEASTER #lovehashtags

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Good for the Grauniad, encouraging reading and literacy, although not necessarily spelling... "By both for £11.99" ... Good grief maybe they could take the £5.99 saving and spend it on a professional copywriter. Or something else that's even more witty.

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Hands up if you bought bargain post-Easter discount chocolate today and already feel a bit iffy after just £1.75's worth.

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Now that I'm in Debrett's I thought I should have some appropriate pajamas

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Seriously why has Facebook suggested I join a group for deaf singles (uk)?

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