My cat has been stuck 40ft up a tree since 9am. The rspca said, helpfully, that cats don't die in trees. (Because they usually die when they hit the ground?) Anyway in trying to make me feel better Mrs Rspca lady said she'd once left a cat up a tree for five days. She actually told me to toughen up, forget about it and get drunk. Has anyone near to finchley got a long ladder or some booze please?

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